Th-th-th-that's all, Folks!

Here's to the Lowest Common Denominator, the ones who drag us down, the millstones that hang painfully around the neck of society! May they get what they deserve!

You cannot ignore the Lowest Common Denominator. They are always there, asking for their fair share. And if they do not receive it, they will chip away at the fabric of everything good and decent until that, too, is destroyed. In this way, the Lowest Common Denominator, the selfish bastion of base appetites that it is, drags the rest of society down into the joyless realm of senseless wallowing that is the kingdom of the Lowest Common Denominator.

Once the Lowest Common Denominator gets its way, we will all be equal, and the Lowest Among Us will be on par with the kings and philosophers of our age.

You can see the handiwork of the Lowest Common Denominator everywhere you turn. You find their signature in black spray paint on garden walls and scraped into the walls and mirrors of public toilets. Their names rise high above the landscape in the skyscrapers and strip malls erected upon the virgin soil. They are the tract housing developments and garbage dumps, the urine-stained alleyways, the crack houses and meth dens.

Their ilk is common. You find the Lowest Common Denominator on the highways or far out in the fields. They are the ones who insist on merging at the very last minute, grinding traffic to a halt and demanding that everyone wait for them to take their rightful place at the front of the line. They are the dirt bike riders who insist on widening and deepening the trails by gunning their throttles around every corner, asserting their power over the masses and the natural world. When their opportunities are spent, they move on to the next locale.

It's a sure bet they won't clean up their mess. The Lowest Common Denominators are the piles of diapers you find abandoned at campgrounds and picnic areas; they are the wads of turd and toilet paper left floating in the public restrooms, the puddles of pee left unwiped on the seats; they are the tire tracks, beer bottles and fast-food containers that line our highways.

And although the Lowest Common Denominator shouts to be heard, you mostly will not see their faces or read their names on their demands. They are the ones who hide their faces beneath the pointed hoods silhouetted in front of burning crosses. They scrawl hateful comments in the cyber-realm as Anonymous. They are Legion.

Because they are common, the Lowest Common Denominator cannot be easily picked out in a crowd. They are the ones in business suits who profit at the expense of humanity, or the scarecrows in rags with their hands thrust out waiting for government relief. They are the entitled. By birthright they are owed what they seek, no matter whether their prize comes at the detriment of others. Their appetites are wide, but their vision is narrow. And their philosophies are spreading. Like noxious weeds, the Lowest Common Denominator continues to spread, choking out the light and nutrients for the flowers. They are the foundation of an emerging desert, of the spreading tide of mediocrity.

Here's to the Lowest Common Denominator! May they get what they deserve!

Good night and good luck....