Tinseltown comes to Bomb Town

Is Los Alamos ready for its closeup?

That's right, all you Hollywood gossip devotees, Bomb Town is the backdrop for a new Hollywood film featuring Spiderman, Princess Amygdala and gay wrangler Jack Twist. I'm not sure how they're going to tie all those characters together—'specially with the writers strike going on and all—but I'm willing to suspend belief for a couple of hours if the popcorn isn't too buttery and the cold weather has toned down that funky gymnasium smell that permeates the Real Deel movie house. What have I got to lose, particularly at matinee prices?

Unbeknowst to most normal residents, a second-unit film crew has been lurking in the Atomic City this week capturing footage for Brothers, the story of a young man who comforts his older brother's wife and kids after the older brother ends up unaccounted for while at war.

It's an old story: You know, brother moves in to take care of family in the wake of tragedy. Family takes to brother like killer bees to an open spot in the eaves of a wooden house. Forbidden love blossoms. The other brother suddenly appears from nowhere after being thought dead. The family now has to deal with the strange dynamic that has been created. Jack starts sneaking off with Ennis in an attempt to reconcile his stifled feelings. Pincess Amygdala senses a great disturbance in the Force and calls in Spiderman to help subdue Ennis, whose rage has literally turned him into a monster that threatens the very existence of the city.

Sad thing is it will go straight to DVD.

The film is actually a remake of the 2004 Danish film, Brødre, but I couldn't understand a damn thing that was happening when I watched it. It's like the whole cast had snarfed a bunch of helium and was speaking gibberish just to be funny or something. Hah hah. I was not amused.

If Brothers does happen to get released, get ready to see exterior shots of familiar Bomb Town locations like the old Technical Area 21 out on DP Road and that spooky old area under Omega Bridge.

I've been hanging out in the Trinity Beverage Company every night hoping to catch a glimpse of Princess Amygdala, but I'm starting to lose hope. She's a Princeton graduate, you know, so I kind of figure I'm her type. But she probably has better things to do than fraternize with the Local Yokels and I bet she's got a busy schedule, so I'm not too disappointed.

Rumor has it that Spiderman has been hanging out at Los Alamos National Bank, because if a super-hero worthy crime is ever going to occur in a sleepy little town like this one, it'll be at the bank. That's just smart detective work.

Of course, the webslinger's presence has irked Police Chief Wayne Torpy, so he's working with newspaper editor J. Jonah Damiani to discredit Spiderman in any way possible.

Hollywood has injected some new life into this community and if it were up to me, they'd never leave—especially Princess Amygdala. But I digress.

Back in the Good Old Days, when things looked dark and depressing, young Mickey Rooney would gather his pals together in the barn and say, "Let's make a play!" Soon the whole town would be in stitches and even the sunrise looked brighter.

At a time when Los Alamos is staring gloom and uncertainty in the face, Hollywood couldn't have come at a better time.